What is ‘purpose’…my written thought process

15 05 2006

What is my ‘purpose’ – do i feel it to be some god sent purpose for being here? One that i feel fulfilled by. Do i need a purpose? Is it helpful? What does “my purpose” mean to me? It means doing something I am meant to do. ‘Meant’ to do, ‘meant’ . Meant by who, by me, by a higher being?

I think my purpose is to feel fulfilled, firstly., fulfillment from what i am doing/being.
I think i have had that feeling when i mentored people at Yell and when i started working at Ashley Down primary school. So can i have that fulfillment from other things too? Ie. what is the feeling i have playing guitar it’s happyness – contentment – relaxation. Its not the same, could it be as powerful a driving force. What is the difference between that and what i got from mentoring the boy at Ashley Down…..hmmmmm.

Taking peoples photos can be fun and emotionally fulfilling when i get a positive response from a child. But only at those times is it emotionally fulfilling, fun though. Emotionally fulfilling is giving people confidence, making them feel better. Is this my purpose or a need of mine? When talking to my personal coach I felt a warmth towards doing something I am good at which expresses myself to others. Guitar/Songwriting/Singing perhaps.

I want to explore the counseller/therapist route but cannot do this while working at the photography studio due to time constraints. So i must leave this job.

So while i explore the whole guitar/counselling volunteer thing as after work activities I can do work involving giving people more confidence, Mentoring/Coaching in a low tech role during the day, perhaps in a call centre as it is easy to get into .

So looking at all this, if I am meant to have a ‘purpose’ it is to be fulfilled by what i do. If I were to take it further it would to help people feel better, increase their confidence and mood, by my actions. Can I get this only by mentoring/coaching or playing on stage infront of people also….is it as powerful?

By thinking of my purpose as a necessary thing to do I put pressure on myself which creates resistance. Action/Reaction?

Focus on my next role, my fulfillment.

Actions
————————————————————-
Volunteering at Bristol Childrens Hospital = fun
Volunteering at Relate for example = fulfillment and insight
Work at call center as mentor = fulfillment and money
Explore coaching as part time work = fulfillment
Organise singing lessons, near future = possibilities
Contact singing friend re music session = overcoming fear CHECK!


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