Selfish Behaviour?

12 11 2007

MeThat’s it, working for other people officially sucks.

I have decided to do something for myself for a change.

My jobs over the recent past have been focused on trying to get a balance between helping others and helping myself at the same time (a typical Virgo issue). Or a balance between what I think others think I should do and what I want to do (I wrote that sentence and still had to read it twice to make sense of it!).

Anyway, as yet, life isn’t quite how I want it. So now its all about me.

“It’s a strange thing about life, if you ask for it, you will usually get it. What are you asking for?” ~ unknown

Stuff working for others i want to work for myself, be self directed.

I have tried to find something I can enjoy and which will give me a lifestyle want and I have found many things which were close, but not quite the cigar I was looking for.

It doesn’t help that if someone said to me
“So Andrew, what lifestyle DO you want?”.
I would probably have a million answers.
Hence why I don’t trust what anybody else advises me to do, their advice can’t take into account my ever changing moods, need, wants and desires.

Thinking about it for a mo’ I guess then my answer to the question would be..

“I want life to be a constantly changing experience, one which is different day by day”

..which is really what I AM already doing.

“The important thing is to strive towards a goal which is not immediately visible. That goal is not the concern of the mind, but of the spirit.”

~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Flight to Arras, 1942, translated from French by Lewis Galantière

Anyway, back to work…Work i do during the day for someone else is just to fill in time whilst i develop the other things i enjoy. Day-work for others it is the stuff i do to earn the money i require to live and eat whilst my brain ticks over the other options constantly making plans and inventing ideas.

So, if some bloke wants to pay me good money to sit on a helpdesk and answer phone calls in order that I can a) Paraglide b)Ski c) start my on business d) play guitar etc. then great.

For now, I have decided to go back into IT. I will probably earn about £16,000 as an IT helpdesk bloke, with no particular aspirations to go further than that. But is the absolute minimum I need to live in this country. Then I can go about ordering my life around the pursuit of happiness.

[Edit: I actually didn’t go back into I.T. , I followed my heart and went to work in a Ski shop!  Andy, 2009]

Its what the last 6 years have been about really, finding out what makes me happy.

Back then I may have thought that work alone was meant to make me happy…(and I still am on the pursuit of work which does)…but now have a more balanced view. So I am now going after things outside work which make me happy and lets see if any kind of work comes out of that.

What Work?
For work to make me happy I need to do something which is personally meaningful, which is a self-directed force, an outpouring of my creative ambition, something which is an expression of me. I can put my heart and soul into it, I can focus and give my full self to in the belief that it is where I was meant to be.

Seek out that particular mental attitude which makes
you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which
comes the inner voice which says, “This is the real me,”
and when you have found that attitude, follow it
~ W James.

And people, remember…

The biggest mistake we could ever make in our lives is to think we work for anybody but ourselves“. ~ Brian Tracy

Thanks for listening.




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